So, I was sitting on my couch last night (I am actually sitting on my couch right now, and it is last night, and I'm writing in the future tense, for my blog post for tomorrow morning, because I'm going out for drinks tonight, and to a show, and I might have a little wine headache in the morning, which causes bad blogging syndrome, so I'm trying to be prepared), perusing my blogs when I read this ditty by one of my favorite bloggers of all time ever. I, at first, felt very very guilty. Guilty because I AM guilty. Guilty of being a boring blogger (sometimes. let's just say sometimes because sometimes I think I'm a good blogger too).
Geez. I used to really love my blog. But sometimes lately it has been boring. As I've gotten more and more work related to actually designing, this little baby of mine has fallen by the wayside some days. Which is totally and completely acceptable. Life is busy. Putting dollar bills in my bank account is not only necessary, but important to me. And this blog does not make me any money people. Like, zero. Which brings me to the problem that I think I've been having, and that I think a lot of bloggers have. When I started The Rustic Modernist, I did it because it was fun, and a distraction from some serious boredom with my life. I had no intention of trying to make it profitable or to get "famous" bloggers to read it, or comment on it, or ignore it. Whatever. And I think that showed.
Once I started blogging more and reading more blogs I became a little obsessed. Obsessed with my stats and my comments and what it all meant. I started studying the "big" blogs, the megas, and trying to understand how they made careers out of blogging, because I honestly really love doing it and who the hell doesn't want to work from home most of time especially when there are babies on the brain. And then I started using my twitter account more and trying to brand myself. Ugh, booooring. I hate twitter. I really do. And then I started having to make a "blog calendar" to make sure I was posting enough and not losing readers. All of these other bloggers were posting majorly Photoshopped posts all the time and always going to crazy events and being featured in magazines all over the planet, so if they were doing scheduled features every week (including the ever dreaded outfit to a room feature) and being invited to write for other blogs and be so fabulous all the time, that MUST be what I have to do too. So I did. And some of it I like doing. I love doing Currently Coveting because I covet a goddamn lot of stuff. It's mostly what I enjoy about design. Coveting. And most of it is stuff I can't have and most of my real-life friends don't understand the weird things I covet, so it's super fun that a lot of you, my readers, covet the same things, and get that about me. I like doing Spotlights because it opens me up to new designers and, ultimately, new design. I also like doing them because I get responses from them, I cannot lie. I have gotten some pretty dope emails from some of my very favorite designers and, well, that feels fucking good, not going to lie, again. Seat of the Week is fun for me because I'm obsessed with chairs. And lighting. But that feature is mostly a filler let's be honest. And Saturday Stunners are great because they fill two voids for me: I get to post a photo, just one, of something I really love, no explanation necessary, and I also get to do a quick post on a day where I'm really tired from a long week and still have one more day to go before my weekend. It's a nice way to wrap things up around here.
So, I don't think I'm AS guilty as a lot of the blogs, right? But I know that I have been seriously influenced by this overwhelming desire to be successful at this. And in the blogging world success comes from readers, comments and recognition. And I really think that I have been trying to hard to get those things. The thing is, you just end up kissing a lot of big blogger ass and writing stupid comments like "Oooh, I love that room. Great work." It doesn't feel like ME. I hate fucking Photoshop. I really do. Hate. And twitter? Barf. I'm really really so really really tired of telling the world that I'm going to the park and it's just so gorgeous out and the sun is #shining @GoldenGatePark #summerdays @SF just because I don't tweet enough and feel like my followers will get bored of me. Go. Away.
I remember when I got my first interested sponsor and a friend told me that I better stop posting pics of my dog because shit was about to get serious. And I listened. Not even really knowing I was doing it. I started this blog because I wanted to post some of the amazing design I was so inspired by. I also wanted to talk about my life. And that is still what I enjoy most. And I really just want to be able to be me and not worry about sponsors and money flow and trying to make it like all of the boring bloggers have. She is right, this lady, let's put an end to all of this nonsense and just try to act normal. No one cares about making a room into an outfit because people don't make rooms into outfits. It's dumb.
And this guy? Yeah, he totally agrees.
Gimme a break guys.
And, yes, I am totally aware that I overused the comma in this rant. Like, used it into oblivion. Whateves.