Quotes that make me want to kill myself and pictures that make me want to live.

The blogosphere (barf, I hate that word) is all blowing up about how this is the year of the designed quote. And if you belong to Pinterest you will one hundred percent completely know what I'm talking about when I say that. If you don't belong to Pinterest, first, you should because it's super fun, second, I kind of don't want you to because the blogosphere has also been saying all year that Pinterest is the death of the blogs, and third, if you join you will have the chance to immediately see exactly what I'm referring to. Now, don't get me wrong. I am as sappy as the next, I really really am. I went to bed crying last night over the end of My Berlin Kitchen. I get weepy over these quotes sometimes. I am all about inspiration and living your life and all of that blahblahblah. Or I was, now that I'm thinking about it. I do believe that the year of the designed quote has taken away some of my joy. Now most of them just annoy me. I mean, they are meant to be inspirational and they come from a good place but they are also so completely ridiculous it's laughable. Like, people, this is real life. Bad shit happens to good people ALL THE TIME. And I get that it's important to live your dreams and do what you love but we are not all in the same boat here. We don't ALL get to quit our jobs and become freelance mommy bloggers who are supported by our rich husbands. It's just not the way it is. 

 Or maybe it's just going to be normal, like for most people. The pressure to be AH-MAZING! Seriously, slit your wrists if you don't see fireworks when you wake up in the morning. Something must be wrong with you! C'mon, it's all supposed to be AMAZING all the time everyday nonstop AMAZING. 

 Ahhahahaha. Bullshit. I know plenty of people who God gave more to than they could handle. I was listening to This American Life yesterday and this woman was talking about this quote and saying how she has this image in her head of G-dog up there looking down and thinking "Eh, let's see here, I think she can handle juuuust a little bit more." sprinkle cancer sprinkle death sprinkle a lil breakup here and there sprinkle bankruptcy failed business sprinkle dinkle. "Let's see, that should just about do it."

 Stop it. Mittens winning the presidential election is the designer of my own catastrophy. Duh.

 Ah. One of my favorites. A real affirmation this one is. So long paying job! So long work! Hello yachting off of St. Barth's and drinking champagne! Booyah! 

 Or maybe when I was traveling the world in my twenties, not a care in sight, maybe that was the best. Who knows? Or maybe when I was a wee babe, sleeping and eating all day long, maybe that was. I don't know if I believe that a saggy ass and wrinkles bode well for "The best is yet to come."
 This is so stupid I don't even know what to say. 

 And also somewhat annoying. So don't be cheerful all the time. Trust me, it is not contagious.

 Hmmm. I wonder if my future self will thank me for doing the dishes. Or opening my new box of goodies from Madewell. Gosh, I really don't know. Maybe I'll just sit here and think about it for a little while. It's a lot of pressure, this future self.

 Not true. As I said above, bad things happen to good, hard-working people every single day. This quote pisses me off to no end. If amazing things DON'T happen to you, trust me, it doesn't mean that you aren't kind or don't work hard. So stupid.

 So, I'll be back right after I go draw some rainbows. You know, just to make sure I have a better day today.

 Aww. Cute. So easy. Guys! Go! Find it! Quick! And follow it gawdammit! It is the way to happiness! 

Puke all over this.

And now, just to bring us all back from the edge, a rather random selection of the pretty.

 Breathe it all in, love it all out.

 Lucite layered over wood. I am loving loving this combination lately. Must happen in my future home. It is my yellow brick road, I am sure of it. 

 Clean and serene.

 WTF. I am still waiting for this GD pompom blanket. This man? Yeah, he just refuses to be pushed. I'm pretty sure my future self would be happy if I purchased this today.


 To get away from it all. A place to escape all of the quotes!

THIS is contagious, my friends. This. Not cheerfulness.



  1. I saw a woman in the Castro the other day chasing and screaming at a homeless man all while wearing a "Keep Calm and Carry On" shirt. Point. Proven. I like to stick to Sylvia Plath quotes - no rainbows there.

  2. AMEN. I am so f#%#$ng sick of these goddamned quotes. The yoga world is drowning in them. Pithy and embarrassing and trite and pathetic. Thank you for saying that out loud.



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