On the Outside Looking In.

Not the best weekend I've ever had in my life. Left work Friday in a great deal of pain from a recurring medical condition. Cancelled all plans and laid on the couch, barely able to move, for the rest of the weekend. Oh, except for the hours that I spent at urgent care on Sunday. What a fun little excursion that was...Situations like this almost always inevitably leave me feeling compassionate for people who endure chronic, lifelong pain. I remember when I slipped a disc in my back a few years ago just laying in bed crying, not only because I was in pain, but because I was so TIRED of being in pain. And I felt that way early Sunday morning. The constant waves of discomfort seriously just make you want to give up, give in, whatever have you. I have mad mad respect for people who live with that for years. It cannot be easy and it requires a very strong will. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is it was a shit few days off. Still trying to be positive and embrace the week as it begins but, I'm not going to lie, being graceful right now is a struggle. 

I managed to get up and moving for a few minutes Saturday at dusk and Justin and I took a short walk through the neighborhood, one of my favorite things to do as the sun is setting and the sky is streaked with wispy clouds and pink shadows. The city feels quiet, people are flipping on their lights and the smell of dinner being prepared wafts through the air. And, as is often the case, I found myself peering discreetly in people's windows. 

I do this. Quite a lot actually. Not because I want to see what they are doing or be a voyeur but because I want to see what their house looks like, on the inside. I look for telltale signs of a design lover-good curtains, a unique vintage pendant light hanging from the outside stoop, a glimpse of a beautiful lamp, an incredible paint color or an amazing piece of art. I love looking at homes, that much we all know. But there is something about seeing the ordinary, the everyday, the unstyled, that intrigues me. Who knows what could be in there? Maybe it's super modern with a fab B&B Italia sofa. Or maybe that rundown apartment building houses the most perfect rustic farmhouse table with a set of ghost chairs around it. Who knows?! If I were a superhero surely one of my gifts would be the ability to see through house facades, straight into the belly of the beast. Until then, I remain on the outside looking in, longing for just a glimpse of a Serge Mouille ceiling pendant or a John Robshaw curtain.


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